In this world where we are so constantly connected to each other, digitally, at least, the idea of being alone is frightening for some people. It seems we’re afraid to be by ourselves. For some it’s because they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. Others maybe just so used to doing things with husband, kids, friends, the idea is foreign to them. The art of solitude is slipping away.
Somehow we’ve developed an idea that being alone is not a good thing. We equate it with being sad or antisocial or lonely. But being alone simply means that you’re not with other people and that can be an enjoyable thing. In reality, most times being by yourself is not the problem. The difficulty comes with thinking what others think. You think others think you have no one to hang out with. Being alone is what you make of it. You can make it happy.
The phrase “You are enough” is being kicked around a lot lately and I think it’s a good one, but I’d like to add another layer to it. You are enough for yourself, too. You don’t need anyone else to have a good time with or give you permission to do what you want to do.
Spending time alone can have some serious benefits. Without everyone talking to you and a thousand things going on, you have a chance to clear your head. Shut all the noise off. There’s a great quote I read somewhere “If you can’t get quiet enough to hear yourself think, your life is too loud.” Give yourself a chance to refresh and recharge.
Spending time alone also allows you to get to know yourself and to do what you really want. When we’re with someone else, we tend to go with the flow; go along with what they want to do. You don’t need anyone else to tell you what to do. Imagine next time your husband wants to go to the boat show and you’d rather shave your head, you can tell him, “Go. Enjoy!” and take yourself off to the latest rom-com you’ve been itching to see. Et voila! You’re both happy.
And, besides what many people think, research has shown that two heads are not necessarily better than one. (Remember those group projects in high school?) You’re a smart cookie. When you need ideas to solve a problem, brainstorm with yourself. Let your mind wander. You’ll come up with some fabulous ideas.
Paraphrasing the divine Samantha Jones – Ah, Honey, we’re all alone. My advice, embrace that fact, slap on some armour and get out there and enjoy yourself. Now, next time hubby’s out golfing, take your gorgeous self out to the bistro for lunch. Have a glass of wine and enjoy being you… just with you.
What about you? Will you take the plunge? Will you take yourself out on a date? Share your story in the comments below. We’d love to hear.