The future seemed so bright

They dated for a substantial time. They got along really well. They talked a lot, shared their hopes and dreams. They were both full of exciting ideas about what they wanted to do with their lives. It really seemed like they were perfect for each other. Completely in love, they married and had a couple of kids. Sounds perfect, right? Yeah, but that’s not the whole story – for some.

Somewhere along the line their paths went different ways. They both worked on their ideas for their lives. Hers led to a successful career. His never seemed to pan out. Years later, she’s working hard, proud of her accomplishments. She’s the bread-winner, housekeeper, cook, lunch maker, shopper, chauffeur, nanny, mother and wife. And he, for whatever reason or excuse, is not. He potters or dabbles and does not earn a living. Sound familiar?

Remarkably enough, this is not an uncommon scenario. There are many women in this situation. Some are divorced from this scenario. Others are still married to the same man. Maybe they’re waiting until the kids grow up to decide what to do. Maybe they’re just stuck. Some of them may be content with the way things are. Who knows?

Is this a backlash to the 50s, when men went to work and women stayed home? Or is it a reaction to the 80s when women claimed their right to do it all and now they are indeed doing it ALL?

Why are there so many successful women out there who do it all and are married to men who don’t? What’s your experience? Have a story to share? We’d love hear.

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  • Could it have something to do that we women who “do it all” are control-freaks who have a hard time delegating?

    Are we women who are trained to give, give, give don’t know how to receive…which includes help around the house?

    I’d say yes and yes… and raise my hand to both of those possibilities. The more aware I become, the easier it is to release the reigns and sometimes even ask for help (gasp!)

    Why I’ve let myself be there for so long – here’s a theory: Having divorced myself from the scenario you paint above, I am now married to the “traditional” version where he works FT and earns most of the money – and I let that be a reason why I do the lionness’ share of the home stuff…

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