Should old acquaintance be forgot?

We’ve talked about it before. Your know how important your closest friends are to you. Sometimes even more so than siblings. They are your bedrock, your foundation. They forgive your messy bun, ugly sweats and sloppy confessions over one too many glasses of wine. She is Ethel to your Lucy.

But what about the ones who have slipped away? As you’ve grown, you grew apart, went away. Life took you in different directions. The question is: to reconnect or not to reconnect?

Having friends is good for your body and soul. But life seems to throw us curve balls every once in a while that can sever those bonds. Life happens and it seems to me that sometimes it hard to stay connected with old friends. We move, get divorced, change jobs, begin working remotely. Every life change can disrupt our long standing friendships. And as we age, don’t you find it’s more difficult to make new friends? Maybe reconnecting is the way to go?

Facebook and the other social media platforms make finding long, lost friends almost a no-brainer.  And reconnecting can be fabulous, or not. Best case scenario – you pick up where you left off and it seems like you’ve never been apart. It’s all sunshine and lollipops. Worst case? You remember very quickly exactly why you lost touch. Nails on a chalkboard; you can’t wait to get out of there. I’ve had them go both ways, but honestly, usually it ends up somewhere in the middle, a happy medium.

I recently had a lovely reunion with someone I hadn’t seen in over twenty years. So much had changed in both of our lives, but when we sat down to coffee, we chatted non-stop for almost two hours. It was lovely. A few years ago, though, I met up with an old grade school friend and ouch! No sunshine or lollipops that time. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Will I meet up with her again? Not likely. We’re just in different places; we were different people.

If you do decide to go for it, maybe take it in baby steps – meet for coffee or a drink rather than a full on dinner. If she lives out of town, you could maybe do a Skype call. Maybe even start with a few emails or Facebook exchanges to see how things go.

If you’re feeling tentative about it, you don’t have to meet, but remember time has passed for them, too. Things change. Reconnecting could be really rewarding… for both of you.

(By the way, ever wondered what “auld lang syne” means? Apparently it means “time’s gone by”.)

Have you reconnected with old friends recently? How did it go? Are you Ethel or Lucy? Share your stories in the comments below. We’d love to hear.

Let's connect. We have fresh rhubarb every week.

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  • I’ve similar experiences to yours, Caroline, that have gone well or not. There was one surprise in recent years.

    Several of my HS friends got in the habit of gathering, in various combinations, when one or the other was in from out of town. One year, we reconnected with one of our gang who we’d lost tack of. Thing is, she wanted to include another girl that many of us couldn’t stand, still remembered as part of the mean-girl gang.

    Long story short, we’ve gotten to know this woman in a whole new light (as an individual) and she’s since become one of the regulars.

    Shared history is one powerful brand of magic.

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