Like a fine wine

Friendships get better with age and are gifts to be savored. To have a good friend is to cherish and be cherished, no matter the degrees of separation.  You know this, right? You probably have a dear friend that you go without seeing for months at a time, but when you do get together, it’s like you saw them just yesterday, right? Doesn’t it always amaze you for a fleeting moment until you say “Of course, this is the way it is!”

We are social creatures, so our friendships are important; they provide us with someone to talk to, someone to enjoy and someone to share with.

We are each a little different at how we find and mind our friendships, but at the core of every meaningful one is a balance of giving and receiving. A good friend is dependable and dependent. To be a good friend you give, of course, but you must be able to receive, as well. Otherwise the friendship is thrown out of balance, one or the other feels put upon, and the friendship is weakened.

Unlike other relationships in our lives, friendships are purely voluntary. Sadly, that also makes them vulnerable to the changes that affect our lives.  As adults, our husbands, children, family, work take precedence. It’s not that we love our friends any less; things are just different. Obligations evolve, things change, priorities shift. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just life. We grow up and move on.

It happens slowly, almost imperceptibly, like a glacier, friends can so easily slide out of your life. Sure, we have ways to keep in touch that fit into our digital lives, but a tweet or a text is not the same as an actual conversation. You have to put some effort into getting together with friends.  Go ahead, make a plan even if it has to be three weeks from Thursday, just to go for a walk. Savour some of that fine wine; your friendship has probably aged perfectly.

So, who ya gonna call? Which of your friends will you reach out to this weekend?

p.s. If you’re looking to do something more than just grabbing coffee, here’s a lovely article on Yes and Yes about a bunch of different ways to catch up with friends .